Just like women, men should, first of all, remember not to forget to check the overall package. Do not appear for a date with a week-old shirt and a pair of jogging pants, with your chin unshaved and your hair uncombed. The rule of first impressions is still very much the rule to keep your date hooked on you for at least a few more minutes. Do not dress like a slob.

There are, of course, some men who do not progress beyond the first impression part. If you’ve got the grooming and dressing up down to pat, consider looking into your social skills. If you think it’s not cool for a lady to babble the night away about her ex, then you should refrain from doing the same to your date. Whether you only have good things or bad things to reveal about your ex, the ex is a forbidden topic. Next to taking care of physical appearances, talking about your ex just about tops the list of dating no-nos.

If the ex is a forbidden topic, so are a lot of other things. The whole point of the date is to get acquainted, but never let your date feel that she is either a religious inquisition or a cheap tell-all talk show. Aside from asking about matters that may be too private, such as her last romantic dalliance, men shouldn’t ask about the more personal but trivial aspects of a woman’s life such as her brand of feminine wash or her oral mouth wash. This is simply a glaring sign of either a man’s bad taste or his social ineptitude.

In the same way, it is also a social mistake to talk too much about yourself. Monopolizing the whole evening may send the message that you are more interested in yourself than on your date. Your date is not an adoring fan and neither is she your shrink or your mother. Do not talk to her about your personal hygiene, your suicidal tendencies or the number of successful sales pitches you’ve made in the past month.

Men should also take pains to maintain the right attitude and good manners. Never make your date feel that she is anything less than a princess. Of course, some women may feel very much comfortable with opening their own doors but men should be ever solicitous about the needs of their dates.

Yes, it’s tough being the guy. But for now, that’s the way the world works. Just remember that the next time you feel like complaining about your date, think first if you’ve been such a great catch yourself.

The first anal sex for some couples may be no more than a finger inserted in the rectum. A man may be curious about experiencing prostate stimulation or what it feels like to insert his penis in his lovers ass. His partner may want to know if her love partner will enjoy prostate stimulation with her g-spot toy as much as she enjoys using it on herself. Regardless of the reason for trying anal sex there is nothing wrong with this practice as long is it is done safely between consenting adults.

When practicing any sexual activity and this includes not only those that involve the genitals but also the mouth, there is always some risk of transmitting a sexually transmitted disease. There is evidence that participants in anal sex are at greater risk of transmitting STDs such as gonorrhea, herpes, hepatitis and HIV the virus that causes AIDS. Therefore you must take precaution unless you positively know that your partner is safe and in today’s society few of us can be that sure.

The following tips will help protect both you and your partner:

Use Protection: Always use a condom. If you want extra safety, heavier duty condoms designed for anal sex are available and these may offer more protection. Use a water-based lubricant such as KY Jelly. Lubricants other then water base can result in condom damage.

Cleanliness: Make sure that the anal area is clean. It is advised that the bowel be empty for an empty bowel will reduce the risk of the receiving partner passing feces during anal sex. A condom will help keep feces from being passed but it alone does not take the place of extra cleanliness.

Relaxed sphincter muscle: The receptive partner must learn to relax the sphincter muscle. Relaxing this muscle will allow for safe and comfortable penetration of the penis, fingers or toy through this ring-like anal muscle. Forced penetration may tear the sphincter. A tear or other damage to this area can result in severe pain and fecal incontinence.

Use Lubrication: For safety, some couples will have the receiving partner apply a lubricant to their own anus. Some insertive partners will place a condom or glove over a finger before applying lubricant to their partners anus. Run the lubricated finger around the anal canal while gently stretching it. Start by inserting a single finger and slowly increase the fingers until you are inserting the approximate thickness of the erect penis or sex toy to be used. Some couples will use a butt plug, small dildo or vibrator prior to insertion of the penis while others will insert the penis as soon or in the case of a strap-on as soon as the anus appears to have sufficiently relaxed.

Do Not Use Force: The insertive partner should never use force. Very gently insert the penis or toy into the anus. If the receiving partner says stop or shows signs of pain make sure they are ready and want to continue. Never force your partner to receive against their will. Once inserted the insertive partner must control their thrusting so that the receptive partner has sufficient time for the sphincter to relax.

Know Your Partner: At Ask Uncle Terry we talk a lot about safe sex. We started this discussion by discussing protection and we are going to end it that way. Know your partner for bacteria, HIV, HPV, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis C and E-Coli among other things that you do not want can be passed with anal sex. If you are unsure of your partners health either forget the anal sex or make sure you are using both common sense and protection.

Nick, a lot of guys think that you are either a brave soul, a bit crazy or perhaps gay! For any of you guys that think that way, the truth is there is nothing wrong with a bit of gender play between consenting adults. If Nick or any other guy wants his girlfriend to screw him in the ass this does not make him crazy or gay. Sure I realize that some of you would rather die of cancer than even allow your doctor to stick his finger up your ass to check you’re prostate gland.

So Nick, you don’t say if your ass is still virgin or not so I am going to assume that it is. Virgin or not there are other guys reading this whose pucker hole has never had as much as a finger up it.

Start with a smaller dildo 5” to 6” in length and slender 1” to 1- ½” across. Starting with a virgin anus is not the time to roll play by saying, “okay big boy bring it on!” Also make sure you have a good durable strap-on harness that the dildo will fit into and lots of good lube. If you select a dildo with an upper curve or a dildo designed for g-spot stimulation your girlfriend will be able to better stimulate your prostate making this a more stimulating experience.

Also for the virgin ass hole it is not a bad idea to get a bit of practice by having your girlfriend finger you or use a small sex toy to massage your prostate and then work up to the strap-on for with a bit of experience you will better learn how to relax the sphincter muscle.

As far as the best position for a man that is the receiver here are 3 anal intercourse positions that couples seem to like.

The guy will lay on his back with his legs pulled up. In this position his giving partner can fuck him as if in a missionary (man on top position). In this position, if you choose to, you can play with yourself as your girlfriend fucks you. The odds are that you are going to experience one hell of an orgasm.

The doggy style is also popular and some claim it to be the best starting position. Doggy style is a bit more submissive and when roll playing submission is popular. In this style the man will be bent over or lean forward doggy style. In this position your girlfriend can also play with your cock and balls. If your girlfriend really wants you to be submissive she might even give that ass of yours a good spanking to start out with.

Another position you might want to try is to stand, bent over at the waist supporting your weight on a chair or table. This method will leave your cock and balls easily accessible to your girlfriend so that she can play with them while fucking that pucker hole.

And ladies, be gentle with your guy. Remember the first time you had a dick stuck into that pussy of yours? I bet it was tight unless you already had experience using a sex toy. Will girls if you haven’t been screwed in the anus yet it is really tight for both a woman and a man. So when inserting a dildo start out with a very gentle push of the tip of the dildo into the anus while holding the shaft. Make sure your partner is relaxed so that the sphincter muscles will open and allow the head of the dildo to disappear. Take your time as you gently press the dildo in.

Once your guys’ anus is relaxed you can start some thrusting. Pull out a bit and slowly push back in and gradually increase the speed of your thrusting. Don’t start out with aggressive thrusting the way your boyfriend probably did the first few times the two of you had sex. While a dildo is certainly not going to experience pre mature ejaculation from rapid thrusting it is going to experience premature ejection if your guy yells stop so just take it easy as you use a steady rhythm that is acceptable to him. You might want to play with his cock while screwing him and most of all watch his moves and listen to him as you enjoy this new experience.

If you are wondering where to get a good strap on you will find them at any good adult sex store or why not help Uncle Terry cover the cost of this website by purchasing it right here from Adam and Eve where you can get great sex toys at a great price.

Lets move on to a time when you were still young and romantic and yet had a private place where you could enjoy sex. You probably dined her, bought her flowers and possibly went to the local motel. It didn’t bother you that people in the neighboring room might hear the headboard hitting against the wall. It was still daring and exciting and you probably sucked, fucked and played with each other all night.

Perhaps you took her back to your apartment as long as you had prepared by cleaning it up, washing the dishes and had picked your dirty laundry up off the floor. If you didn’t have a roommate the sex was much like that at the motel.If you shared the apartment with someone else it may have been like when you lived at home and worried that someone would drop in on you.

Married with young children the kids would come into your room at a most inopportune time. As the kids got older and were spending time away from home you were probably enjoying great sex again. When you finally had them trained to not come into your room the sex was probably pretty good but never as good as it was when you had total privacy and did not have to worry about getting caught.

Do any of these scenarios seem about right at this time? Now that I have given you a long winded reply, call upon those great moments from your dating days. Romance your wife like you did when you first started to date, make it an all day or weekend affair without the kids. End up at a nice private location and enjoy beautiful sex once again.

Even if you have been married for years take a look at the information on  first time sex. I bet you will get some great ideas.

Thanks, Frustrated Girl

Frustrated Girl, You have given me limited information though I certainly understand your frustration. There are many reasons a woman has difficulty reaching a climax during intercourse especially if she can reach an orgasm during solo masturbation.  One of the most she is worried about how her mate feels about her body or worried about becoming pregnant. Hopefully you are practicing safe sex!

In your situation you make the statement, Even when I play with my clit while we are doing it, …” This makes me wonder if your boyfriend is right in blaming himself. Are the two of you spending a reasonable amount of time in foreplay prior to intercourse? If not this can be a problem and in fact is a very common problem. Unfortunately most guys know that they can get their rocks off at just about any speed. Unfortunately most boys and men do not realize that most women take a lot more time to reach orgasm.

During your next couple of love making sessions see if you can get your boyfriend to bring you to orgasm prior to intercourse. Then when you have intercourse,  if he shoots his load before you climax have him manually bring you to orgasm again instead of rolling over and falling asleep. Keep in mind that intercourse is not the only way to enjoy a great orgasm – mutual masturbation and adult toys brought into a relationship are also great alone and as a precursor to great sexual intercourse.

Uncle Terry

Anonymous.

Anonymous,

It is true that some people drink urine as part of their sexual practice. There are a lot of ways to sexually satisfy your partner without drinking urine, just spend more times reading the information at Ask Uncle Terry and you will find plenty of them.

While urine is often considered sterile you need to be aware that both legal and illegal drugs in the system of the person whose urine you drink could end up in your system.

Hepatitis B can be found in urine even when the person whose urine you drink may not be experiencing symptoms. You may not get infected from drinking the urine but getting it into broken skin in any way including drinking and golden showers can get it into the blood stream.

You also need to be aware of the possibility of genital herpes getting into an open wound even a very small break on your lips and lining of your mouth or throat and transmitting it to you.

If you don’t want Cytomegalovirus (CMV) a common virus that can cause serious illness and blindness you need to be aware that you can potentially get these problems from drinking infected urine.

It is theoretically possible to get HIV from drinking urine even though it is said that HIV is not transmitted through urine. I sure know that I would not want to be that guinea pig.

If these potential dangers are still not enough, gonorrhea and chlamydia could cause infections in the throat.

So anonymous it has to be your decision but why not use those lips, fingers, tongue, possibly some adult toys and a good erect penis to satisfy her. How ever you do it always and I mean always practice safe sex.

Uncle Terry

Do you remember when you were young and just thinking about getting your first date? For many of us this was a frightening experience for we had a low self image and had pretty much convinced our self that we were a toad. We were certainly not prepared for the rejection we might face. Avoidance became the easiest way to stay away from the rejection and yet most of us knew that we needed to take the chance or we would remain a toad forever.

As a single person that has decided to place our self back on the dating market we might be wondering if traditional or online dating is best. How are we going to avoid finding or being thought of as a toad? I guess we really won’t know until we get that first kiss!

This week I am at my 50th high school reunion and it brings back many memories. (Yes, for those of you new to Ask Uncle Terry, I am an old fart that is old enough to be the grandfather to many of you.) I have faced the challenges that many of you are now facing along with those that you will experience in the future.

While chronologically I have aged or let’s say matured like a fine wine, I still think of myself as being much younger. While I may have forgotten a lot about being young, one thing that sticks to my mind like a magnet is that many of life’s challenges do not seem to change with age. Yet, one thing that has changed and in a really big way is the world of technology and the internet.

I grew up in a black and white world. My family’s first television was an 8″ black and white Teletone with a screen that looked like a round fishbowl. Neighbors would gather around this TV to watch wrestling or a black and white western.  We did not have CDs, DVDs, video games, cell phones or the other advancements in technology that we take for granted today. Since computers had not yet been invented we certainly did not have internet dating. Perhaps this clouds my vision when it comes to internet dating. The one thing I can guarantee it has done is make me wonder if traditional dating or this new world of online dating is best.

As a bit old fashioned it naturally seems like the old fashion face-to-face, hand-to-hand way of dating is best. Still though, while I may not be able to program a VCR I have done a pretty good job or finding my way around the internet and this helps me to lift some of that old fashioned cloud. So together, let’s take a look at dating using the world of technology or doing it the old fashioned way!

1. Fast Moving World: In today’s fast moving world many of us are faced with a lot of obstacles when it comes to traditional dating. Perhaps we live in a community where dates seem short in supply, the types of people we meet in the bar are not the ones we want to date, we certainly don’t want to look under the lily pods, we are just too busy with our work, or have one of a million other excuses as to why we are unable to find a date. In these situations an online dating service might just offer real benefit.

1. Location:  With traditional dating location is usually not a problem for we are dating those that live nearby. With online dating we are meeting others from around the country or around the world. For some this distant romance works out great. What happens though when you become attracted to someone that lives half way around the world, does this not become a real obstacle to dating?

1. Communications: Perhaps you are not looking for someone to fall in love with but instead are just looking for others to communicate with. In that situation wouldn’t you do as well joining an online forum of interest? On the other hand if you are thinking that one or more of those that you are communicating with over the internet may turn into a love interest an online dating service may be a great way to go.

1. Money: With online dating you can make a great friend, carry on a long distant romance and while some online dating services do charge a hefty fee you are not spending money on drinks or dinners.

1. Time: For many of us our time is limited. We are already dealing with the daily stress of work or school or perhaps in our retirement days catching up with things we did not have the opportunity to do while working. It seems that we just don’t have the time to party and meet new people. Online dating gives us the opportunity to meet a number or potential dates and filter them out before meeting them. Now if we decide to meet them and they live in a distant location it seems to me that time is brought back into the equation.

1. Blind Dating: Many of us have experience the blind date. Our friends think they have the perfect person for us and we agree to go on the date not knowing much about the person. Some of us thrive on a bit of challenge while others don’t. All of us wonder if this blind date is everything our friend has told us about him or her or it they have given us a snow job. Don’t get me wrong, in many situations blind dates turn out to be a great and at other times you wish you were blind and deaf so that you could not see or hear the toad you were introduced to.

1. Knowing Who You are Dating: Unlike the blind date, with internet dating you have the opportunity to become acquainted with the other person in advance. When you meet a toad it is much easier to move on. Still, that person you have met over the internet may not be that prince or princess when you meet them face to face. Behind the keyboard it often becomes way to easy to play the part of a person we really are not.

Okay, so we talked about it and I still left you confused! Internet dating services have indeed made some great improvements since they first came into fashion. Today you have the opportunity to search online for a person that has similar interest, personality, education, location, religion and much more. With internet dating you often get to know a lot more ahead of time than the person you meet in the bar, grocery store or coffee shop where usually the first thing you were attracted to was the other persons physical attributes. Does this make internet dating better? Maybe or maybe not!

Many veterans of internet dating do claim that the world of technology gave them the opportunity to find a great match. For me though I still prefer that personal touch of getting to meet face to face. This does not mean that internet dating is out for me for I recognize it as a good tool that will be used should the need arise.

The choice is yours. You can enter the world of online dating or traditional dating whichever seems best for you. Just loosen up and have fun. Enjoy life and make the most of it for we never know what tomorrow will bring.

For centuries the elusive female G-spot has made its way into our sex lives. For most couples, the man has always put attention on the woman’s erogenous zone, hoping to strike gold at some point during the act. Of course this makes most partners weak in the knees, if the infamous spot is found. As a result, the woman is pleased until orgasm and wants to return the favor. Ironically, the majority of men flinch, perhaps thinking about a prostate exam or tar instead of mining for gold at the mention of their own G-spot being stimulated. Unless the man is willing to charter unknown territory, the butt area is usually off limits.

For most men, the prostate gland, also known as the male’s G-spot, is often a touchy subject. For many men, even touching near the anus may make them question their sexual orientation. Anal sex is neither a gay nor straight activity, it is a stimulating sexual activity that can be enjoyed by all. At Ask Uncle Terry men will email us about their hang-ups with anal sex. Many of these men find the idea of it scary or even repulsive. However, we also hear from men that had their prostate stimulated for the first time and many report that they experienced an intensified orgasm like never before. Once it is tried, chances are the man will look forward with great anticipation to the next visit. Best of all a stimulated prostate is a healthier prostate.

For women who do not know where the g-spot is located, the prostate gland is a small gland located between the testicles and the anus. It is actually within the perineum, which means that when you rub this gland, it will make men moan with excitement. When inserting a finger or a sex toy into the anus, this gland can be stimulated until orgasm is reached. Although orgasm can be reached in dozens of different ways, this kind of stimulation is much more intense and overwhelming.

If you build up the courage to try this new sexcapade, or your partner is willing to dive right in, be sure to use an ample amount of water-based lubricant. For long nails, cleanliness, or if you are not in a monogamous relationship, or there is any question as to STDs or HIV a glove or condom should first be placed over the fingers. Once you are ready, your partner should cover their finger in the lubricant and slowly insert it into your anus. The prostate is about two inches upward and forward. If the man is a little squeamish the finger does not have to be fully inserted. The area around the opening of the anus is full of nerve endings and provides stimulating sensation on its own. Although the sensation may feel strange, it will become more intense as your partner starts to feel around.

In order to increase your desire and anticipation, your partner should very slowly insert their finger or toy allowing the sphincter muscle to relax. This will not only avoid discomfort, it will also allow you to enjoy the moment. Once that golden nugget “G-spot” is located, you will be shocked to realize what you have been missing out on all of these years! It is often an incredible feeling, far more intense than any other sexual position.

If you are still wary of even asking your partner to act so kinky, you can have them just rub the outside of your anus. Even by touching it lightly, your nerve endings are still stimulated. For men, their genitals and the overall region are extremely sensitive, thus resulting in mind boggling convulsions that could last for minutes.

Regardless of how embarrassed or nervous you are, it is actually exciting to go outside of the box and try something new. Far too often men are too worried about being laughed at to try something so kinky and taboo in today’s society. However, if you have an open-minded partner and stop caring about other people’s perceptions, you can easily enjoy the secret side of sex. Check out AskUncleTerry.com for more information on sexuality, foreplay and both the male and female G-spot.

Summary

Uncle Terry discusses mining for the golden nugget of men. The prostate gland, also known as the male’s G-spot, is often a touchy subject. For those willing to experiment, this hidden treasure will provide a highly erotic and stimulating experience while improving prostate health.

The prostate gland, also known as the male’s G-spot, is often a touchy subject for most men. For those that are willing to experiment, this hidden treasure will provide a highly erotic and stimulating experience while improving prostate health.

I have been doing the male Kegels, but I wonder if there is way I can get her to do some Kegel exercises too without sounding dumb or mean?

Second, her vagina has 2 much room in some positions (doggystyle), but I’m not a small guy. Previously I have been with women over 140lbs with tighter vaginas and I just don’t get it.

Finally, (slight case of Peyronie’s maybe???)when erected my penis curves 30 degrees to the left (I think that’s right) and we tried reverse missionary style so I can get to her g-spot, but there is discomfort on my end in that position. Also while she rides in with feet flat and bouncing (due 2 her pelvis driving into my pelvic area causing discomfort. What can we do to accomplish the positions she likes?

Thank you for your time and reading! You are more help than you know!!!

SouthernMan

SouthernMan it was good hearing from you.  By your email I see that you do possess those Gemini traits of adaptable and versatile, communicative and witty, intellectual and eloquent and youthful and lively and knowledgeable in sexual matters. With so many positive traits it makes it difficult for this old Leo to give you much sexual advice but I will try and roar a bit.

First of all I must say congratulations on giving your girlfriend such a great orgasm. There are way to many men that are good at satisfying themselves but the only orgasm they experience is their own or a fake one from their woman for they do not take the time to properly satisfy her. Say man, you can be assured that your girlfriend was not faking since she is obviously a squirter!

As far as getting your girlfriend to do the Kegel, this is something that each of us should do to tighten those PC muscles. You have learned the benefits and your girlfriend just experienced her first orgasm. Let her know that Uncle Terry or “Unc” says that women tell him that they are having wild more intense orgasm since taking up Kegel exercises. After experiencing that first one I am sure your  Gemini gal is going to want to experience some more explossive orgasms! By the way gals, the  Kegel is not only great for women whose vagina has enlarged due to childbirth but also those that want to tighten their PC muscles for the joy of better sex. Kegel will not make the vagina smaller but it makes it tighter and sex more pleasurable for the couple.

For guys that have not located the G-spot as SouthernMan has, this is something you really want to do. One of the best ways for a guy to find that elusive G-spot on his woman is to have her lie down with her knees bent and feet flat on the bed or floor. Make her comfortable by placing a pillow under her buttocks. Gently insert a finger into her vagina directed towards her navel and the G-spot is a little fleshy bump of nerve tissue located about 2 inches in. [plus or minus] When you find it go ahead and stimulate it with your finger until you have her squirming and enjoying an explosive orgasm and I bet she will recipricate giving you one of the best orgasms you have ever had.

If a guys penis curves up, this is ideal for stimulating the G-spot in the missionary position. You mention that yours curves a bit to the left. With a penis that curves north or south it does take a bit of positioning as you have discovered. As far as the best position there is a lot of advice out there from the guy lying on the right side and his girl on the left with the guy placing his left leg between her legs for easier penetration, to experimenting with positioning your body while doing the missionary, to one partner taking a vertical position and the other a horizontal. I know that this is not the answer you are looking for but what could be better than the two of you to just keep on experimenting by trying different positions. On your next romantic weekend have yourself a sex marathon until you find the position that suits the two of you best. Don’t forget to get back with us and in the mean time keep on pleasing that Gemini of yours.

Uncle Terry

The Approach: A woman need not wait for a man to make the first approach and a man certainly should not wait for the woman to make the first approach. When first approaching a person that you would like to date don’t be the wise ass that wants to impress the other person with their superior intelligence or offensive jokes! Instead try to relax with some casual conversation and if you have a sense of humor use it as long as it is not distasteful. When it comes to pickup lines the chances are that the other person has heard most of the standard pickup lines. Just be casual and get the other person to like you will enough that you can either get their phone number or give them yours.

Don’t Be Fake: Be yourself instead of trying to portray yourself as somebody that you are not. Being a fake may get you part of the way but gradually he or she will learn that you have been faking it all along and when this occurs the relationship will be very difficult to salvage.

Be Honest: When she wants to know more about your life be honest but in the meantime don’t spend a lot of time talking about yourself. Most of us like challenges so keep a bit about yourself a mystery and let the other person dig a bit in return as you start asking questions about them. Do not carry this too far as you can become so secretive that it looks like you are trying to avoid questions.

Be a Good Listener: When it comes to conversation skills it is important to be a good listener. A good listener is one that does not allow dead silence in your conversation. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Listen intently and give replies without hogging the conversation. Have a few witty one liners in your arsenal that you can pull out during a period of dead silence. If you can break a period of silence by getting the other person to laugh you are on your way to a home run.
Give Compliments:  Don’t be a miser when it comes to giving compliment to your new found woman. All women as well as men fall victim to flattery compliment even if they’re meant to be not well consolidated. Yes, you can comment on any part of the body and tell them how sexy their lips, hands or toes look and feel to you. Women love it when you tell them how you find their toes to be so uniquely sexy. Sure they might think you have a foot fetish when you say, “I’d love to touch and kiss your toes for they have so much sex appeal to me!” So what if they think the comment a bit odd for most of us have never heard that and will feel flattered!

Don’t Promise and Not Deliver: Do not make a promise that you have no intention of making good.  For example when a person gives you their phone number they are expecting to receive a call from you. So don’t just get their phone number and consider the battle won without calling them. Doing so will make you look really bad and tell them that you’re not sincere in what you say and what you are. You will likely be meeting them again and in their eyes you are a jerk that gets numbers and does not call, a really big “no-no” in the courting game.

Send Flowers. It is almost unheard of where a woman feels repelled when she receives flowers.  Consider sending them to her at her work. Women love this for it makes them look good among their peers for their peers will consider them to be so “hot” that they have a suitor going after them.  Having a bouquet of flowers delivered may cost you a few bucks but it shows your romantic side a must do in the game of courting.

If you follow the above tips you will place yourself a step ahead of the competition. You will be liked and on your way to finding that person of your dreams and perhaps a “soul mate.”