Your friends continue to call and invite you out to join them for the latest activity, yet your heart’s not in it. Then one weekend, when it’s cold and raining, you decide that you’ve spent enough time alone. You call one of your friends and she rejoices over your newfound attitude.

You arrive at one of your favorite restaurants, and you feel good about how well you look. After a few drinks, and some lengthy dialogue, two more of your friends join you.

Then the waiter delivers a round of drinks to your table and tells you that the young man at the end of the bar sent them over. You glance in his direction, and he smiles.

Within minutes, he approaches your table and introduces himself. That’s when your fear sets in. Can you learn to trust someone again, or should you tell him thanks, but you’re not interested?

Crazy thoughts go through your mind, and you’re not sure how to respond. Certainly, you never expected to meet someone new on your first night out. He carries the conversation very well. You glance at your friends and roll your eyes. They give you encouragement to go with the moment.

He asks if you’d like to join him, and you decline. Before he retreats to his seat at the bar, he writes his number on the back of his business card and asks you to call him.

During the next two days, you look at his card, but you don’t call him. Ironically, you don’t tear it up and throw it in the trash, either. You just gently tuck it into an inside pocket of your handbag.

You don’t want to bug your friends with more of your over-analytic thoughts, so you get in your car and drive to the mall, heading straight for the self-help section of your favorite bookstore.

So many titles. Which one do you choose? Besides, how could anyone know what you’re doing through? Then, a book title catches your eye. You read the back cover copy, scan the table of contents, and then delve into the first chapter. Interestingly enough, the author appears to have some answers that might help. You buy the book and head home.

The next evening you get together with your friends and you slap a piece of paper on the table and ask the girl to your right to read it out loud. She begins reading.

Five Ways to Learn to Trust Again

1. Stop living in the past. I don’t live there. I’m living in the present.

2. Define my boundaries. Make a list of what I will and won’t accept in a relationship.

3. Don’t change who I am just to be with someone.

4. Visualize my future life as if I had it already. Picture the man who truly loves me, and know that I can have that type of relationship.

5. Be thankful for everything I have, and start each day with faith, hope, and love towards everyone I meet.

When she finishes reading your list, she has tears of happiness in her eyes.

That’s when you smile, and remove the business card from your handbag. You hold it up and say, “I’m going to call him.”

However, when you want tell your partner of your love it’s such a hard decision to make for many reasons. Will your partner return your love? Will your partner simply accept your declaration with indifference? Will he or she feel threatened? It is such a common problem that even “The Seinfeld Show” had an episode on it.

So make it easy on yourself and plan the declaration so that as much as possible you eliminate the problems. The first step, of course, is to be certain you really are in love. If you so enjoy being with your partner that you want to be with him or her to the exclusion of all others, if you think of him or her every day when you are apart, you are probably in love. If you have even a small doubt you should wait a little longer.

If you are certain then plan a special occasion for it. Make it a significant moment in your life - one to remember with fondness for your whole life. Arrange an intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant and make it as romantic as you can. Give him or her a small gift because you love being with them, or you are so glad that you met them.

After dinner while holding your partner intimately gaze intently into their eyes and say, “I love you so much it hurts when we are apart. I hope that we can stay together forever”.

Do not be disappointed if your partner does not return your declaration. They may not yet be ready and might need more time to state their feelings. Continue to share with your partner the highs and lows of your partner’s life. Care for your partner’s happiness and be on guard to protect his happiness.

Under no circumstances should you ever ask your partner, “Do you love me”?

Nobody can deny that life without love will be a lonely one, especially if you spend all your free time on your couch, watching made up love stories of the latest soap operas. If you want to find love here and now, then you have to get up and look for it. Your concern on how to find love will be relieved with the discussion below.

The biggest mistake in proactively trying to look for love is we tend to look for love in the most obvious but unsavory places. Bars and nightclubs are full of people who are trying to pick someone or anyone up. The people who hook up at these hotspots usually end up with casual relationships, one night stands, and if they are really lucky, the love of their lives. However, the odds of that happening are quite slim, because the hook is only based on superficial attraction. You will quite quickly find out that you do not have anything in common.

You can find love through personal columns or online(or a personal columns online)and find someone with the same interests, but meeting them in person will be a totally different story. Many people usually have an online persona that is way different from what they are like in real life.
Another thing there has to be a chemistry between you and your future mate. Even with all your shared interests, without that spark, you might most likely end up just as friends. The same would go for blind dates.

So what to do next? The best course is to put yourself out there. Expand your circle of friends by taking up a hobby you would be interested in which involves interacting with other people. Sign up for a cooking class or join a new gym. Attend book clubs or poetry readings - you can go and do anything, as long as you are having fun. You are then more likely to meet someone who is having fun doing the same thing as you, and already you are off to a good start.

It is also recommended that you keep a good outlook in life. Just because you are alone and feeling lonely does not mean that you should be depressed until someone does come into your life.

Chances are your depressed demeanor is just going to scare people off. People looking for love want to be happy and are drawn to people who are already happy on their own. So start smiling and see that there is actually no secret to how to find love. You can be the magnet of love if you allow it.

We can recognize true love in that it is always empowering. True love gives with no expectation or demands in return. True love that comes from a place within ourselves expresses concern, kindness and joyfulness. We can know if we are experiencing true love by noticing how we feel. Being needy, experiencing yearnings to control or manipulate someone else, conjuring up intentions or schemes to punish someone because they have disappointed us, constantly finding flaws instead of acceptance, feeling possessive or jealous, or experiencing fright or sadness all weaken and disempower us with fear, resentment, and anger. We can recognize that these feelings are not caused by true love.

These feelings are all generated by seeking to get love from someone else. But we cannot get love by demanding it or trying to force someone to love us. Love is never found with demands or ultimatums. It is impossible to have true love by seeking it from someone else. These feelings make powerless victims out of us so that our happiness is wholly dependent upon someone else behaving in a certain way. These feelings give us a very thin and weak rope upon which to cling. We know that at any moment this rope can be severed, causing us to fall into despair and grief.

If we find ourselves in this situation, the good news is that we need not remain in this vulnerable state that disempowers and weakens us. That is because true love is sourced within ourselves, and as we take steps to meet and get to intimately know this true love that resides within each and every one of us, we are able to discover enormous joy, bliss, comfort, kindness and happiness. We recognize these as empowering feelings that strengthen and nourish us. These feelings produce strong and unbreakable cords that will gently carry us through any obstacles along our way.

As we discover and give energy to this power source of true love that exists within ourselves we will stop seeking love from outside of ourselves. We will know that our source of happiness is not dependent on the behaviors of someone else. We are the only ones that create and own our own happiness. Our own happiness and contentment will cause us to awaken within us thoughts that will cause us to express and give out true love and to receive true love. This true love will be kind, encouraging, comforting, and accepting, all of which empower our lives.

A man applies for a job at the Post Office.

The interviewer asks him,  ‘Are you allergic to anything?’  He says  ‘Yes - just caffeine’

‘Have you ever been in the service?’

‘Yes,’ he says.  ’I was in Iraq for two years.’

The interviewer says, ‘That will give you five extra points toward employment,’ and then asks, ‘Are you disabled in any way?

The guy says, ‘Yes 100%. An IED exploded near me and blew my testicles off.’

The interviewer tells the guy,  ‘O.K.  In that case, I can hire you right now. Normal hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM.

You can start tomorrow at 10:00 - and plan on starting at 10 AM every day.’

The guy is puzzled and says, ‘If the hours are from 8 AM to 4 PM, why don’t you want me to be here before 10 AM?

‘This is a government job,’ the interviewer says. ‘For the first two hours we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls.  No point in you coming in for that.’

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, ‘Okay old fart time for you to retire!’

The old rooster replies, ‘Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens, look what it has done to me.

The young rooster says, ‘Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?’

The old rooster says,’Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over, I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.’

The young rooster laughs. ‘You know you don’t stand a chance, old man. so, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.’

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

he is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.

The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

‘Dammit….. third gay rooster I bought this month.’

Moral of this story?

Don’t mess with the THE OLDER GENERATION

age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery

always overcome youth and arrogance!

Some say it’s the vibration from the car, others say it’s the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.  Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.

I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

This works with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.

Sincerely,

A Friend of Ask Uncle Terry

Our walls aren’t greatly insulated and I can hear the noise. I can’t explain the horrible feeling well enough. I want to know who is thinking about other than me. And why? Keep in mind that I am 23 and he is 24. I love him with all my heart, and have since the day we met!!!!! I cannot confront him about this. I just have to leave the house…and usually act completely angry with him for a while. It’s making me feel really depressed and not good enough. If this is happening now, what do we have to look forward to in our future? Like I said… I’m only 23!!! Help me to understand, please!!
Pam

Sometime I wish I were clairvoyant so I could tell what was going on. A lack of interest in sex with your partner does not mean that they no longer love you. Many things can be going on from personal stress to problems at school or work. Even the concern of pregnancy if a contraception method is not being used. Health issues or even bad timing when you try to initiate sex. The fact that he masturbates regularly suggests that he is still sexual. His masturbation does not say he is no longer interested in you. Guys masturbate from the day they discover that they can make that little guy sing to the day they die. Even guys that have frequent sex with a partner still masturbate and the same holds true for many women and this is normal.

There is not much more enticement than a couple getting naked together and having sex. A couple that shares each other’s body’s needs to be open with one another in discussing their sexual concerns. Discuss your feelings in a calm way; doing it in anger or a threatening way will not get you the response that you are truly looking for. Tell him how much you miss having sex with him. You can mention that you know that he masturbates and maybe suggest masturbating together and each other as either part of foreplay or instead of intercourse. As to wanting to know his fantasies, I sense a possible bit of jealousy. Fantasies are private thoughts that one should not be forced to discuss even with the person they are dearly in love with. Some couples are open and discuss fantasies with each other and this is great. Sometime when the two of you are alone and enjoying each other’s company you might suggest you share a couple of your fantasies. Offer to go first and tell one of yours followed by him telling one of his. Ask if he would like to hear another one of yours and this game can go on for quite a while. If he does not wish to share them that does not mean he is in love with someone other than you. Some of us just hold our fantasies dear and like to maintain them as one of those true secrets we personally possess. If he confesses that he is interested in someone else or things don’t get better in the future perhaps it is time for you to move on while you are still young.

Frank
First of all just because it isn’t pink, does not mean that she has been with someone else. A woman’s vagina usually produces a discharge that is clear or slightly cloudy and odor free. During her menstrual cycle the amount and the consistency of that discharge will vary. Part of the month the discharge may be thin and watery and at other times it may be much thicker and these changes are normal. If the discharge has an odor or is irritating it is usually abnormal. If this is the situation, your girlfriend may have an infection such as vaginitis. Vaginitis can be caused by various organisms such as bacteria, yeast or viruses, as well as by irritations from chemicals in sprays, cream or even clothing, as well as by hormonal changes, allergies and irritations. As with yeast infection a woman may experience recurrences. Vaginitis yeast infection is a form of vaginitis; it is only one of the varieties. The three most common forms of vaginitis are Candidiasis “yeast”, Trichomoniasis “Trich”, and Bacterial Vaginosis “BV”. Different forms of vaginitis have different discharges such as milky, cottage cheese-like or even yellow or green, among others. Not all women will have symptoms while others may experience itching and burning inside the vagina or on the vulva just outside of the vagina. Since vaginitis and other infections can have many causes a medical professional should check your girlfriend. Once identified the correct treatment can be prescribed. Since it can sometimes be passed through sexual contact, this is another good reason to always wear a condom.