Lets move on to a time when you were still young and romantic and yet had a private place where you could enjoy sex. You probably dined her, bought her flowers and possibly went to the local motel. It didn’t bother you that people in the neighboring room might hear the headboard hitting against the wall. It was still daring and exciting and you probably sucked, fucked and played with each other all night.

Perhaps you took her back to your apartment as long as you had prepared by cleaning it up, washing the dishes and had picked your dirty laundry up off the floor. If you didn’t have a roommate the sex was much like that at the motel.If you shared the apartment with someone else it may have been like when you lived at home and worried that someone would drop in on you.

Married with young children the kids would come into your room at a most inopportune time. As the kids got older and were spending time away from home you were probably enjoying great sex again. When you finally had them trained to not come into your room the sex was probably pretty good but never as good as it was when you had total privacy and did not have to worry about getting caught.

Do any of these scenarios seem about right at this time? Now that I have given you a long winded reply, call upon those great moments from your dating days. Romance your wife like you did when you first started to date, make it an all day or weekend affair without the kids. End up at a nice private location and enjoy beautiful sex once again.

Even if you have been married for years take a look at the information on  first time sex. I bet you will get some great ideas.

Do you remember when you were young and just thinking about getting your first date? For many of us this was a frightening experience for we had a low self image and had pretty much convinced our self that we were a toad. We were certainly not prepared for the rejection we might face. Avoidance became the easiest way to stay away from the rejection and yet most of us knew that we needed to take the chance or we would remain a toad forever.

As a single person that has decided to place our self back on the dating market we might be wondering if traditional or online dating is best. How are we going to avoid finding or being thought of as a toad? I guess we really won’t know until we get that first kiss!

This week I am at my 50th high school reunion and it brings back many memories. (Yes, for those of you new to Ask Uncle Terry, I am an old fart that is old enough to be the grandfather to many of you.) I have faced the challenges that many of you are now facing along with those that you will experience in the future.

While chronologically I have aged or let’s say matured like a fine wine, I still think of myself as being much younger. While I may have forgotten a lot about being young, one thing that sticks to my mind like a magnet is that many of life’s challenges do not seem to change with age. Yet, one thing that has changed and in a really big way is the world of technology and the internet.

I grew up in a black and white world. My family’s first television was an 8″ black and white Teletone with a screen that looked like a round fishbowl. Neighbors would gather around this TV to watch wrestling or a black and white western.  We did not have CDs, DVDs, video games, cell phones or the other advancements in technology that we take for granted today. Since computers had not yet been invented we certainly did not have internet dating. Perhaps this clouds my vision when it comes to internet dating. The one thing I can guarantee it has done is make me wonder if traditional dating or this new world of online dating is best.

As a bit old fashioned it naturally seems like the old fashion face-to-face, hand-to-hand way of dating is best. Still though, while I may not be able to program a VCR I have done a pretty good job or finding my way around the internet and this helps me to lift some of that old fashioned cloud. So together, let’s take a look at dating using the world of technology or doing it the old fashioned way!

1. Fast Moving World: In today’s fast moving world many of us are faced with a lot of obstacles when it comes to traditional dating. Perhaps we live in a community where dates seem short in supply, the types of people we meet in the bar are not the ones we want to date, we certainly don’t want to look under the lily pods, we are just too busy with our work, or have one of a million other excuses as to why we are unable to find a date. In these situations an online dating service might just offer real benefit.

1. Location:  With traditional dating location is usually not a problem for we are dating those that live nearby. With online dating we are meeting others from around the country or around the world. For some this distant romance works out great. What happens though when you become attracted to someone that lives half way around the world, does this not become a real obstacle to dating?

1. Communications: Perhaps you are not looking for someone to fall in love with but instead are just looking for others to communicate with. In that situation wouldn’t you do as well joining an online forum of interest? On the other hand if you are thinking that one or more of those that you are communicating with over the internet may turn into a love interest an online dating service may be a great way to go.

1. Money: With online dating you can make a great friend, carry on a long distant romance and while some online dating services do charge a hefty fee you are not spending money on drinks or dinners.

1. Time: For many of us our time is limited. We are already dealing with the daily stress of work or school or perhaps in our retirement days catching up with things we did not have the opportunity to do while working. It seems that we just don’t have the time to party and meet new people. Online dating gives us the opportunity to meet a number or potential dates and filter them out before meeting them. Now if we decide to meet them and they live in a distant location it seems to me that time is brought back into the equation.

1. Blind Dating: Many of us have experience the blind date. Our friends think they have the perfect person for us and we agree to go on the date not knowing much about the person. Some of us thrive on a bit of challenge while others don’t. All of us wonder if this blind date is everything our friend has told us about him or her or it they have given us a snow job. Don’t get me wrong, in many situations blind dates turn out to be a great and at other times you wish you were blind and deaf so that you could not see or hear the toad you were introduced to.

1. Knowing Who You are Dating: Unlike the blind date, with internet dating you have the opportunity to become acquainted with the other person in advance. When you meet a toad it is much easier to move on. Still, that person you have met over the internet may not be that prince or princess when you meet them face to face. Behind the keyboard it often becomes way to easy to play the part of a person we really are not.

Okay, so we talked about it and I still left you confused! Internet dating services have indeed made some great improvements since they first came into fashion. Today you have the opportunity to search online for a person that has similar interest, personality, education, location, religion and much more. With internet dating you often get to know a lot more ahead of time than the person you meet in the bar, grocery store or coffee shop where usually the first thing you were attracted to was the other persons physical attributes. Does this make internet dating better? Maybe or maybe not!

Many veterans of internet dating do claim that the world of technology gave them the opportunity to find a great match. For me though I still prefer that personal touch of getting to meet face to face. This does not mean that internet dating is out for me for I recognize it as a good tool that will be used should the need arise.

The choice is yours. You can enter the world of online dating or traditional dating whichever seems best for you. Just loosen up and have fun. Enjoy life and make the most of it for we never know what tomorrow will bring.

The Approach: A woman need not wait for a man to make the first approach and a man certainly should not wait for the woman to make the first approach. When first approaching a person that you would like to date don’t be the wise ass that wants to impress the other person with their superior intelligence or offensive jokes! Instead try to relax with some casual conversation and if you have a sense of humor use it as long as it is not distasteful. When it comes to pickup lines the chances are that the other person has heard most of the standard pickup lines. Just be casual and get the other person to like you will enough that you can either get their phone number or give them yours.

Don’t Be Fake: Be yourself instead of trying to portray yourself as somebody that you are not. Being a fake may get you part of the way but gradually he or she will learn that you have been faking it all along and when this occurs the relationship will be very difficult to salvage.

Be Honest: When she wants to know more about your life be honest but in the meantime don’t spend a lot of time talking about yourself. Most of us like challenges so keep a bit about yourself a mystery and let the other person dig a bit in return as you start asking questions about them. Do not carry this too far as you can become so secretive that it looks like you are trying to avoid questions.

Be a Good Listener: When it comes to conversation skills it is important to be a good listener. A good listener is one that does not allow dead silence in your conversation. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Listen intently and give replies without hogging the conversation. Have a few witty one liners in your arsenal that you can pull out during a period of dead silence. If you can break a period of silence by getting the other person to laugh you are on your way to a home run.
Give Compliments:  Don’t be a miser when it comes to giving compliment to your new found woman. All women as well as men fall victim to flattery compliment even if they’re meant to be not well consolidated. Yes, you can comment on any part of the body and tell them how sexy their lips, hands or toes look and feel to you. Women love it when you tell them how you find their toes to be so uniquely sexy. Sure they might think you have a foot fetish when you say, “I’d love to touch and kiss your toes for they have so much sex appeal to me!” So what if they think the comment a bit odd for most of us have never heard that and will feel flattered!

Don’t Promise and Not Deliver: Do not make a promise that you have no intention of making good.  For example when a person gives you their phone number they are expecting to receive a call from you. So don’t just get their phone number and consider the battle won without calling them. Doing so will make you look really bad and tell them that you’re not sincere in what you say and what you are. You will likely be meeting them again and in their eyes you are a jerk that gets numbers and does not call, a really big “no-no” in the courting game.

Send Flowers. It is almost unheard of where a woman feels repelled when she receives flowers.  Consider sending them to her at her work. Women love this for it makes them look good among their peers for their peers will consider them to be so “hot” that they have a suitor going after them.  Having a bouquet of flowers delivered may cost you a few bucks but it shows your romantic side a must do in the game of courting.

If you follow the above tips you will place yourself a step ahead of the competition. You will be liked and on your way to finding that person of your dreams and perhaps a “soul mate.”

For me long-term committed relationships are the best. I never was a fan of the One Night Stand and it appears that their popularity is fading and in their place is this Friends with Benefits concept. Yes, I have also been opposed to playing house without going through the formality of obtaining a marriage license. You only need to watch “Judge Judy” a couple of times to see all of the new problems shacking up has brought into our society. Yet is playing house or friends with benefits the better solution? Hell, I don’t know – what I do know is that in either case a couple is getting all of the benefits of a married relationship without any real commitment.

If you aren’t going to make a commitment at least with Friends with Benefits you can enjoy the sex without the other person really expecting anything in return. Or can you?  The way I see it is that once you start getting into a sexual relationship a new type of bond starts to develop and often one or the other friend may start to expect a commitment.

Sure, I understand that Friends with Benefits it not suppose to be traditional for you are really not dating. You are having sex with your friend who is not a “significant other” strictly for the mutual sexual gratification of the two of you. Still, sex can become so personal and emotional and I just don’t see how the arrangement can last!

What seems to be missing is a set of ground rules for the game. If two people really want to remain no more than friends while enjoying sexual pleasure with each other they really need to establish rules. Even then they will still be fighting an upstream current due to the emotional bond that at least one of the partners in the sexual relationship is likely to develop.

Is it perhaps possible to have a contract between the two of you that will help you maintain your friendship while enjoying the sexual benefits? Lets say you are to write a simple contract between the two of you that states something like, “We will only date in a group situation – if we choose to singles date we understand that this is part of foreplay and it is going to windup with us having sex. We will not show public affection to each other. We are just two friends that just need a partner to satisfy our sexual needs. We agree to have sex with each other for our mutual benefit while just remaining friends. Our feelings will not be hurt and we will have no further expectations of our friend should one of us start to have sex with another. If this should occur while the sex may stop our friendship will continue.”  Sounds, good but do you think that the friendship will really last or is the start of mutual sex really the start or end to the friendship?

While friends with benefits started out with the idea of filling a need by providing mutual sexual orgasms, what happens when one of you suddenly starts to experience fantastic orgasm? Can you just remain friends or is such a deep bond being created that one of you needs more while the other just wants to continue the benefits without the commitment? Is this perhaps the end of the relationship?

I guess that only you will ever know the answer to the questions that I have asked. Yes, I understand the Friends with Benefits concept and in many ways it makes more sense to me than shacking up. At least you wont end up on Judge Judy fighting over who gets custody of the dog or who owns the bedroom set. Still you need to go into it with open eyes, an open mind and a good supply of condoms. Perhaps you will actually discover that this is true love and you can turn that Friends with Benefits relationship into a long term committed relationship called Marriage.

Before you young ladies get carried away however, have in mind that just like actual dating, online dating has its risks and if you throw caution to the wind, you might just regret ever being born in the computer age. Take note of a few tips to maximize your enjoyment and ensure your safety.

Before you flex your fingers and get right down to business, consider what you want out of an online dating experience. Are you out to just have some shallow fun or are you on the prowl for a potential lifetime partner? Although there may be dangers online regardless of your intention, clarifying what you want will help you determine if your date is worth keeping online or if you should look for better potential candidates.

Once you know what you want, get hooked with a good online dating service, one that will both be helpful in your search for fun and love and keep you safe. If some of your friends are into online dating and have actually succeeded in their romantic quest, consider asking for their opinion. Be aware however, that your situation may always end up different from your friends. Even if all your friends have found love through the internet, you might just be the only unlucky one to find something else.

Even with the precaution of signing up with a good dating service, you may still have to utilize some of your extra sensory perception to detect the bad eggs from the good ones. The only possible way other than following concrete precautions is to have some good common sense and instinct.

Common sense would tell you not to reveal too much to someone you don’t really know yet. Even if you have a web camera and you are already aware how the person looks like, there’s still a chance that some things the person has revealed about himself may not be true. You may be chatting with a high-class bum instead of an advertising executive.

It would be good though to also be honest even if you’re not revealing everything about yourself. Imagine the disappointment and disillusionment of a date you may end up liking if he finds out you’re more into classical ballet than team sports. If you’re at least honest with your interest, you may find some people who share the same interests. If is after all, a similarity in interests that builds friendships and relationships.

Do not expect your date though to be equally honest. It is a given that dishonesty may be part of the package. This is where you should use your instincts. It may be all right to be lied to over minor details like hair and eye color but watch out for the lies that may be dangerous. If things don’t seem to jive and he is apparently inconsistent over a lot of things like occupation and interests, this may be a sign that he may even be a bigger liar than he already is. If things don’t feel right, abandon ship without giving it a second thought.

There are a number of free online dating sites and it can become confusing as to the use of them. How can I decide if they will work out for me?

You are thinking about using a free dating site and with so many to choose from it becomes a bit confusing as to which one to use. You will need to do a bit of research and choose one that resonates with you. With so many different ones to choose from, you would be hard pressed not to find one that you would like to sign up with. Each one should be totally free to sign up for. Beware if you have to pay for a “free” site. There are no or should be no costs to join any of the dating sites that do not charge a fee. If you are charged a fee, then it isn’t free! Always look for free sites as there is no investment to join. Why would you want to pay for a service that you haven’t tried out before? Free sites come with no risk so it is definitely a better option in every way. definitely a better option in every way.

Why so many options with a free dating site?

There are many different options with many different free dating sites. There are options about the way that your page is presented, what sort of information that you want to provide, a place for photos and a place for music, video and webcam. This is all dependent upon the site that you want to get involved with. These sites also have the forums, singles chat, search and match features and other untold ways to meet people. These just add to the fun of being a part of these sites. There are also some social features on some of these that have shared music and video as well as all sorts of goodies that are included on site. These vary by site and can be different for each one as well.

How do I choose between free dating sites?

That is entirely up to you as to how you choose between the free dating sites. There are so many that you don’t have to sign up with just one. There is so much variety on these dating sites, that there is something for everyone. From adult sites, to senior sites, to young adult and everything in between, you can find someone very easily on one of these sites. All you have to do is join up and fill out a profile to get started. It is that easy.

What information do I need to give to these free online dating sites?

Most free online dating sites will ask the basic information such as name address and likes and dislikes for a start. They will advise you when you sign up and agree to the terms of service (TOS), as well as submitting your profile for approval. If there is something that is unapproved then they will not approve the profile without some profile changes. Normally they will tell you up front the information that you have to give. When filling out a profile you will be able to choose just how much you want to display. This gives you the control when giving out your personal information.

Did you know that people who try to spice up their lovemaking, often make their experiences LESS fulfilling? It’s true.

Over the years, I’ve seen couples make the same mistakes over and over again, when trying to improve their love lives, and I’d like to teach you how to overcome and avoid these problems. Here are the 7 lovemaking mistakes. Are you making them?

Mistake #1: Feeling scared or embarrassed to talk about trying new things

Have you ever had an idea to spice up your lovemaking but were afraid of what your partner may think? Believe it or not, in 90% of cases, your partner would LOVE to try something new, too, but they’re just as uncomfortable or embarrassed about bringing it up as you are.

And you don’t need to introduce whips, chains or a third person. That’s nonsense! There are hundreds of ways to bring variety to your passionate play that aren’t crude or dangerous and that your partner is sure to be comfortable with.

Mistake #2: Trying to convince the partner to make love

If your lover is tired or not in the mood for sex, trying to convince or persuade them to have sex almost NEVER works. On the other hand, when a person is sexually aroused, their body releases the chemical ‘adrenaline’ into the bloodstream. This chemical is what gives you the energy to make love. So here’s how to arouse them the right way. Yes, even if they’re tired.

Ladies: Want to get him in the mood? Give him fellatio or manually stroke him between 9 – 10 in the morning. This is when his testosterone levels are highest for the day. For better results, also wear something sexy or nothing at all. He’ll like that.

Lads:
Deep passionate kisses are one of the biggest ‘turn-ons’ for women. Looking in her eyes and touching her face while kissing her can really increase arousal, too. And give some attention to her neck––it will drive her wild. But don’t rush this! Spend quality time building up her arousal with your sensual kisses.

Mistake #3: Neglecting foreplay to enjoy intercourse sooner

People in a relationship (especially men) tend to neglect foreplay so they can begin to enjoy intercourse sooner, but did you know that foreplay is actually said to intensify orgasms?

That’s right. If you kiss, caress and touch longer, you can make your lovemaking even more satisfying. So SLOW DOWN. Take your time. If you want to make it even better, tease your partner in a playful way. (This works like crazy.)

If you find something that they really enjoy, stop doing it, move back, and then do it again later. The more you pull back and push forward, the more they’ll want it. And the more intense their experience will be. There are many games you can play to heighten this anticipation, too.

Mistake #4: Using toys or porn to make your lovemaking better

When sex hits a rough patch, many couples (men especially) think that a video, some plastic or vibrating thingy will instantly takes things through the roof.

Wrong!… While toys can certainly have their place in your lovemaking repertoire, relying on them can be extremely dangerous. These outside sources of pleasure can quickly make lovemaking even less fulfilling.

Why? Because you don’t want your partner to end up looking forward to their plastic toy for pleasure more than they look forward to pleasure with you, do you? Couples need to first fully discover how to please all their spouses’ body parts before introducing other elements. Use them as a spice, not the main course.

Mistake #5: Trying to make the woman orgasm ONLY from intercourse

Men often feel “unmanly” if they can’t satisfy their woman from intercourse. But what they need to understand is that a large number of women can’t achieve orgasm through normal lovemaking.
Just knowing this takes the pressure off men completely. Now there’s no need to get upset when their women don’t reach orgasm. Instead, men should master the art of cunnilingus (going down on a woman).

Mistake #6: Trying to “finish” at the same time

Simultaneous orgasms are quite overrated. Instead of aiming for one orgasm that you share together, focus completely on the woman’s needs first. Hold off from the positions you find most enjoyable and instead make love in ways that are most pleasurable
for your lady, until she is completely satisfied. That way you have a much greater chance of both climaxing.

Mistake #7: Sticking to a “set routine” too often

You know the drill. You take your clothes off, insert part A into part B, and, within a few minutes, the routine is over. Sound familiar?

No matter how fantastic lovemaking can be, there’s no denying it can get boring over the years.
And the reason is because lovemaking in its basic act is always the same. But the danger is letting it get “too routine,” which can begin to affect your relationship.

The BEST WAY to protect your love life and precious connection with your partner is to have lots of new lovemaking ideas ready at your disposal.

That’s the secret.

In fact, when you have an abundance of NEW tips and techniques ready, you’ll enjoy more hot, steamy and passionate lovemaking, discover newfound enthusiasm to make love and even make love more often.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of 500 Lovemaking Tips, a book full of ways to spice up your lovemaking, adding more passion, pleasure and intimacy to your experience. To read more, visit: 500
Lovemaking Tips and Secrets

Men Fear Fulfilling a Woman’s Dreams

When men think of dating, one thing they fear is having to fulfill a woman’s dreams. In fact, when he listens to her, he listens to what she wants in life and what her hopes and dreams happen to be. Sometimes he may want to be the one to give that to her. Sure he will be happy if she is going to fulfill her dreams on her own, but he doesn’t always want to be the one that ends up doing this himself.

Men Have Feelings Too

Yes, men have feelings too and they often show them – it’s just that women don’t know where to look. While they do deal with feelings, they don’t show them or even feel them in the same way that women do when they are dating. So, you should not be fooled into thinking that a guy doesn’t have feelings. He does and it’s important to know this when you are dating.

Men Don’t Think That Love Is Always Enough

Another thing that men think about dating, both online and offline,is that love is not always enough. While they may feel that they love a woman, he also thinks about his life and where he is going. Women tend to think more about love and they tend to make more decisions that are totally based on love as well. So, even if a guy does feel he loves you when he is dating you, this doesn’t mean he is going to propose soon.

Men Want to Find Feminine Women

While many women think that men want to date a “cool chic”, men are actually looking for women that are feminine. They like finding qualities that their friends don’t have. Some women think that they need to fit in with a guy and his friends when they are dating, but instead what you should do is to let your feminine side show.

Men Look for a Woman Who Believes in Them

When looking for a woman to date a man looks for a woman that believes in them. This is their idea of the perfect date. He gets comfort from the fact that a woman believes in him. It makes him feel much braver and more courageous when he is dating a woman that really believes that he can do something.

Men Concentrate on Him and His Date Having a Great Time

Many women notice that it seems men are paying attention to them on their dates. Well, man look at dating a bit differently. When they are out on a date, they concentrate on one thing which is to have a great time. They are not as great at multi-tasking as women are, so when they focus on one thing, it may seem that they aren’t paying attention. However, it should be flattering, because on the date they are truly focusing in making sure that you have a great time on the date.

Looking for free dating services

The best way to search for dating services is by using the various search engines. Once you key in the necessary term, a whole list of sites will be there in front of you. You can select from among the many, and look into them. If you like their services, then you can register yourselves and start online dating. Moreover, you might come across various advertisements regarding such free sites, either on the internet or local newspaper.

Customized Dating

The great part about online dating is that it can be customized for the benefit of the user. Some dating sites offer you the choice of pursuing dating seriously and the opportunity to meet the person that you have been talking to; while there are others who let you have a bit of fun. You can interact with a person with like minded interests and then move on to the next one. There is absolutely no obligation to continue the dating ritual with the same person. Thus, dating services are available in their customized format.

The people who use online dating

Quite a number of people are apprehensive about using free online dating services. This is because of the limitations of the ‘trust factor’. Can you trust the person that you are chatting with on the internet? The answer is you really don’t have to take anything said on the net seriously. The people who are part of the free online dating scheme of things are like you and me and are searching for somebody to talk to and if lucky, somebody they can connect with. Moreover, many such people are introverts who are having difficult time finding friends or a partner. These are essentially the kind of people who use free online dating services.

Your friends continue to call and invite you out to join them for the latest activity, yet your heart’s not in it. Then one weekend, when it’s cold and raining, you decide that you’ve spent enough time alone. You call one of your friends and she rejoices over your new found attitude.

You arrive at one of your favorite restaurants, and you feel good about how well you look. After a few drinks, and some lengthy dialogue, two more of your friends join you.

Then the waiter delivers a round of drinks to your table and tells you that the young man at the end of the bar sent them over. You glance in his direction, and he smiles.

Within minutes, he approaches your table and introduces himself. That’s when your fear sets in. Can you learn to trust someone again, or should you tell him thanks, but you’re not interested?

Crazy thoughts go through your mind, and you’re not sure how to respond. Certainly, you never expected to meet someone new on your first night out. He carries the conversation very well. You glance at your friends and roll your eyes. They give you encouragement to go with the moment.

He asks if you’d like to join him, and you decline. Before he retreats to his seat at the bar, he writes his number on the back of his business card and asks you to call him.

During the next two days, you look at his card, but you don’t call him. Ironically, you don’t tear it up and throw it in the trash, either. You just gently tuck it into an inside pocket of your handbag.

You don’t want to bug your friends with more of your over-analytic thoughts, so you get in your car and drive to the mall, heading straight for the self-help section of your favorite bookstore.

So many titles. Which one do you choose? Besides, how could anyone know what you’re doing through? Then, a book title catches your eye. You read the back cover copy, scan the table of contents, and then delve into the first chapter. Interestingly enough, the author appears to have some answers that might help. You buy the book and head home.

The next evening you get together with your friends and you slap a piece of paper on the table and ask the girl to your right to read it out loud. She begins reading.

Five Ways to Learn to Trust Again

1. Stop living in the past. I don’t live there. I’m living in the present.

2. Define my boundaries. Make a list of what I will and won’t accept in a relationship.

3. Don’t change who I am just to be with someone.

4. Visualize my future life as if I had it already. Picture the man who truly loves me, and know that I can have that type of relationship.

5. Be thankful for everything I have, and start each day with faith, hope, and love towards everyone I meet.

When she finishes reading your list, she has tears of happiness in her eyes.

That’s when you smile, and remove the business card from your handbag. You hold it up and say, “I’m going to call him.”