Stud Rooster

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, ‘Okay old fart time for you to retire!’

The old rooster replies, ‘Come on, surely you cannot handle all of these chickens, look what it has done to me.

The young rooster says, ‘Can’t you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?’

The old rooster says,’Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over, I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.’

The young rooster laughs. ‘You know you don’t stand a chance, old man. so, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.’

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

he is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.

The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

‘Dammit….. third gay rooster I bought this month.’

Moral of this story?

Don’t mess with the THE OLDER GENERATION

age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery

always overcome youth and arrogance!

Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument

Most of the American populace thinks it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of  ‘those moments.’ One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk.

Some say it’s the vibration from the car, others say it’s the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc.

Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together.  Eye to eye contact helps a lot too.

I’ve included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique.

This works with grandchildren, nieces, and nephews as well.

Sincerely,

A Friend of Ask Uncle Terry

A Lack of Sex In Fantasy Land

My fiancée and I got engaged about two months ago. We’ve been together for about three years total but have only lived together now for one year. To make matters more confusing, one year of our relationship was long distance. At first, when he came back to be with me, we had sex regularly and things were great. Now, when I start to initiate sex, he turns me down. That doesn’t so much bother me as much as the fact that I know he has masturbated in our shower several times in the past month. Read more

Got Milk?

Uncle Terry
I want to know how a vagina looks after a long day of work. I’m asking this because I saw my girlfriend’s vagina and it was like milky around the lips. I thought that maybe she was with another guy and I got curious and she said sometimes it looks like that. I am not sure about it so can you please help me and let me know how it looks. Read more

I can’t get no satisfaction

My boyfriend is losing the sensitivity on his penis. He doesn’t have a problem getting an erection just keeping it. He cant even get off from masturbation because of no sensitivity is there. What is going on?
Pam Read more

Unequal Penis Girth

Uncle Terry, My penis girth is not equal, the front knob is 3 inches around and root is 2 inches around, is it normal? Should I contact a doctor? Is there any medicine online I can use? Will it make any problem in my sex life? I am a 21 year old male from Bangladesh. I masturbate 1 to 2 times every day. I have not had sex yet.
Farid Read more

Sex during Your Period

Some men dare push the envelope while others take the back seat and enjoy the ride. The few who are aggressors do not shy away from the idea of having sex with a woman during her menstruation period. Some are afraid of the mere thought of a bloody mess and will steer away from their partner in “that time of the month.” Surprisingly, there are positive reasons to have sex during her period, but there are also some really “messy” ones. Read more

Need Help Fast

About a week ago, my girlfriend and me had our first real sexual encounter. It all started with us lying in her bed after having a couple drinks and fooling around. It was a long drawn out process, but it started with me using my fingers to stimulate her, and then she sucked on me for a little bit, but I did not ejaculate. After about 2 hours of me pleasuring her with my fingers, and her pleasuring me with her mouth, it moved a step further. She got on top of me and inserted my penis into her vagina. It was only inserted once, and only about 2 inches because she was tiny, and I guess I was too large for her. I am worried that because I did not have a condom on, there is a chance of her being pregnant. I did not ejaculate, however I am worried about pre-ejaculation. But it was only inserted one time, and only in about 2 inches. How likely is it that she might be pregnant?
Bill Read more

Games People Play

I have been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for 4 years now. I love her very much, and I know she loves me; we have lots of fun together and are happy. The only problem is she does not ever want to make love. I know you probably hear that a lot, but I’m not exaggerating, we might have sex once or twice a month, and then sometimes it seems like she does it only to make me happy and I feel guilty. I try and talk with her about it, and ask her what she enjoys but she has trouble talking about sex and says, “It’s just not a big deal to me”. I was hoping you could give me some advice on how to help her enjoy sex more.
Malick Read more

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